S6E14: Cheers to that! Write a Memorable Wedding Toast
This one's for our best humans and people of honor out there!
If you're giving a toast, you want it to slay. You want everyone to enjoy it (and hear it).
If you're sentimental, maybe you're looking for some happy tears; those of us who like to laugh might be hoping to add a joke or two into the mix.
Guest: Eddie Rice, Rice Speechwriting
This week, we’re dishing about things like…
Best practices when toasting at a wedding
Common mistakes when delivering a toast
Where to stand when giving a toast
How to hold the mic
… and more!
Background Details
How long have you been in business?
10 years
What areas do you serve?
Everyday people, CEOs, Business leaders, non-profit heads, TEDx speakers
Why did you decide to start your own business?
I thought that I was going to be a public speaking coach but couldn't get clients. Instead, I pivoted to speech writing as I saw postings on Elance and Odesk (now UpWork) of people asking for speeches--such as graduation and wedding toasts. I started to pitch my services on those platforms and once I had success, I taught myself how to set up a website and started my own business. I had to learn SEO and content marketing before these were common phrases--the ideas were just in their infancy. I saw a need for people who wanted a turnkey solution rather than direct coaching and it paid off well.
What's the coolest thing about owning your own business?
It's the freedom to take on projects that are a good fit plus the skills I've gained in writing great stuff quickly flows over into my 9-5 where I'm regularly asked to produce writing pieces on short deadlines.
Cheers to that! Write a Memorable Wedding Toast
What makes an effective wedding toast?
Dos:
Honor the person and honor the event are the two primary goals of any toast
Tell stories that honor the couple getting married--make sure to address both members of the wedding couple
Keep your speech to 3-5 minutes (approximately 450-750 words--assuming a speaking rate of 150 words per minute
End with a toast, "let's all raise our glass"--for the 1-2 lines you want to say, personalize them to the couple getting married such as taking a quote from a favorite, song, movie, or book
Don'ts:
Try to be funny if you're not natural at telling jokes or funny stories--don't force it
Don't tell a story that you wouldn't tell at dinner with the in-laws of the couple
Don't read from your cell phone--it could die on you and the backlight makes photos hard to take
Brainstorm
Ask the right questions when writing your toast:
The best qualities about this person are…
Some of the funniest things this person says are…
What words come to mind when you think about this person?
My favorite stories about this person are…
What is the person’s story?
What obstacles have they overcome?
They were really there for me when...
I can never forget the time when…
A funny story about them is when they…
Growing up they would...
The couple first met when...
I knew they would be together forever when…
I’ve watched this person grow into the person they are today by…
They will make a good husband/wife because…
My heartfelt or funny advice for the couple is…
Structure
Craft your toast around great stories.
Choose 1 great story to tell or three short stories.
Calibrate how much you tell with the length of your speech.
Find stories that truly honor the person you are toasting.
Rehearsal:
Even if you are reading off notes, find time to rehearse your speech ahead of the event. You want your notes to be backup rather than just reading off the page. For your notes, print them out in large font with bolded typeface so that you can read them under dim lights. Schedule your rehearsal time into your calendar and try your toast out in front of people who can give critical, yet appropriate feedback. If you get the same note across multiple people, change that part of your speech.
If you are nervous:
Deep breathing--breathe in for a count of three, hold it for three, exhale. Repeat, and add a count to each set 3...4...5, etc. Progressive muscle relaxation--flex and hold various muscles on your body where you hold a lot of tension (for many this is the upper shoulder region). Do the same technique as deep breathing, where you flex a part for a few seconds, hold it, then release. Many people will start with the top of their body and work their way down or vice versa. Both of these techniques work to relieve tension and slow down your heartrate and breathing rate.
Fun Business Info
Do you have a favorite story to share?
I've bombed before as a public speaker. I was supposed to give a humorous speech for a toastmasters competition. The first time I gave it, my delivery was great and had the crowd rolling. The 2nd time I gave it, *crickets.* I then froze up during the impromptu portion of the speech competition as well. I took it as a learning opportunity to get better and have gone on to much better presentations.
What challenges have you had to overcome?
Writing a book, TOAST: Short Speeches, Big Impact, has been one of the harder challenges. It's something that I've always wanted but writing a full-length book is worlds apart from short speeches and even keynote speeches. It took 3 years of false starts and bad drafts to finally restart with a great outline and better direction for the book. Once I wrote to an outline, the book writing took off. It has helped that I had a community of writers that wrote together over Zoom each evening along with a great editor to provide early feedback. Plus, I learned that I needed to change my environment to write as it was hard to get work done in my office/bedroom that I had become accustomed to during COVID.
What advice could you offer to someone starting a business like yours?
I felt like I had imposter syndrome when I first started. Who was a speechwriter for hire? I simply called myself that and clients found me. I later discovered the Professional Speechwriters Association where full-time and freelance speechwriters gathered. We do exist.
What's the craziest thing you've seen happen at a wedding or large event?
My friend is a political buff and had a cutout of Anthony Scaramucci at the event where you could take pictures with it. I've also watched my share of bad toasts and those are usually chalked up to too much alcohol and too little preparation.
Are there any challenges or obstacles that you've had to overcome?
Finding a time and space to write
What advice would you offer to other business owners in a similar situation?
Change your environment to get work done. Whether it's joining a coworking space or even getting a hotel for the weekend, you need a space where you can dedicate to getting work done. COVID has required us to live and work in the same space and that's not always easy to do. Find your community--find other like-minded people who can give you support and advice. I have a writing group that meets every night for two hours--we don't give feedback but instead chat for a bit and then write for two hours. It allows for accountability without the baggage that comes from unsolicited advice.
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