S6E1: Long-Distance to Married at 40
“The story of how we met is actually the story of how we didn't meet for a super long time.
We went to the same tiny college, we taught at the same school... We have tons of friends in common. It's hysterical that we didn't meet for 20 years.”
Myka and Dagan got married in Newport, OR. The day was perfect, but the planning process was not. Planning a wedding long-distance meant that these two weren't able to enjoy the "togetherness" of planning a wedding.
Hear their story on this week's episode of The Wedding Dish!
Guest: Myka Hansen, Teen Forward
Background
How did you two meet?
The better story is how we *didn't* meet, for twenty years. We went to the same small college in Minnesota (St. Olaf) and were one year apart...didn't meet for the 3 years we were there even though we were both education majors. We then ended up teaching in the same school district for, wait for it, 13 years, three of which were in the same *building*. Never met. We actually finally met in 2013 when I left the classroom and became a Peer Coach in his building. He was on my caseload.
What was the first thing you noticed about your partner?
That he was an incredibly good teacher. The first time I really "met" him was a practice observation with my Peer Coach partner. She suggested he'd be open to us practicing on him. I watched him teach and he was so kind, efficient, and graceful in the classroom. Kids loved him. Also, his eyes are extraordinary.
Tell us about the proposal!
Ahhhh.....he was visiting me in Santa Barbara, CA, and about two days after he arrived, I came down with the flu. Like, the "evacuate everything all the time" flu. We had looked at rings the day before I got sick, and we had planned to spend Thanksgiving in Carmel. I knew if I didn't get better, he wouldn't propose and I'd have to wait until Christmas to get engaged. We'd been together for two years and I wanted to GET ENGAGED. We drove up to Carmel because I was feeling better enough, and we went out for dinner for Thanksgiving. I got all dressed up in my "proposal dress," did my nails, the whole nine. I ate about 3 bites of food and took one sip of my drink. Afterward, we went for a walk in Carmel. We got back to the hotel, and.....went to bed. I was like WHAT WHEN WILL THE MAN PROPOSE. The next day, we went for lunch at our favorite restaurant, and then he asked if I wanted to walk to the beach. Sure. I was carrying our leftovers and he had his hand in his pocket and I remember thinking "why am I carrying our leftovers? And why is he walking so weird?" We got to the water and sat down on a log. He turned to me and started to tell me how much he loved me. I think I blacked out then, I was like omgomgomg this is it, I'm a lifelong spinster and someone wants to MARRY ME!!! Of course, I said yes. I think I barely let him get the words out, actually.!
Wedding Details
Wedding Date: October 13, 2018
Wedding Location: Newport, Oregon
Approx. number of guests who attended your wedding: 70
What were your top 5 favorite moments from your wedding?
1. There were whales at our ceremony. Actual whales.
2. We did a "unity painting" at our ceremony, and Keira, my 11 year old (at the time) stepdaughter ended up with the bright red. She tried to squirt it onto the canvas and it shot out...we have a marvelous picture of her laughing. It's my favorite picture.
3. We went to a townie bar after our reception and we were like circus animals.... Newport is a big fishing town, and the women there treated me like I was a queen. I've never had so many people try to bustle my dress, touch my hair, they were literally touching me for luck, lol. Pre-covid, obviously!
4. My dad was our photographer. He was a professional wedding photographer for my whole life, and it was such a blessing.
5. My dad walking me down the aisle. It changed our relationship. I can't explain how, but it did.
What, if anything, would you change about the wedding planning process?
We planned our wedding almost 3,000 miles apart. I'd change that, for sure. We didn't visit venues together, pick food together, any of that. We did it all online and separately, then filled each other in. It was hard.
What, if anything, would you change about your wedding day?
The one thing I would change is that I would have eliminated the Minneapolis reception we had when we got home. We had a reception in Minnesota five days after our actual wedding at Day Block in Minneapolis. My parents had gotten a hotel room for the night, as had Dagan and me. My parents left all of our gifts and my dad's camera with our wedding pictures from that night in the back of their SUV. I woke up to a call from my mom saying "call me now." I thought my dad had had a heart attack. Instead, I found out that all of our wedding gifts and my dad's camera had been stolen out of the back of their car. Thieves had smashed out their back window. My dad had gone down 3 hours earlier to check the car to make sure everything was okay, and I think often of what could have happened if he had interrupted the theft. My dad got his camera back; the cops busted a huge theft ring and the camera was there--minus the memory card. We never got any of our gifts back. It made writing thank you notes an impossible experience.
Did you participate in any family, cultural, or religious traditions at your wedding?
I don't know how traditional it is, but I kidnapped myself between pictures and the ceremony :-) Dagan and I went to the Rogue Brewery with my cousin and her husband and barely made it to the ceremony on time.
What was the planning process like? Did you run into any obstacles? How did you overcome them?
I hated pretty much every minute of it, honestly. I felt like every decision was wrong. And I gained weight like it was my job. When I was at my final fitting about 2 weeks before the ceremony, the alterations woman asked if there was any way I could get a bigger size. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks. I was able to overcome my anxiety and horror at planning the wedding because Dagan is the most calm, go-with-the-flow, West Coast personality guy you could ever meet. He kept me calm and reminded me that the most important thing was that we would finally be together.
What was the most important decision you made about your wedding?
To have two events....one in Newport, Oregon, and the other in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Dagan's entire family (and his family is huge) lives in Oregon, and they were thrilled that the wedding was going to be in their state.
What is your favorite thing about your significant other? And, if there *is* a least fave thing, feel free to share that, but let's keep it light. ;)
My favorite thing about Dagan is his optimism. He's so positive. He reminds me that there's always another way to look at things. My least favorite thing.....hmmm.... he farts a ton. He will kill me for saying that LOL
Married Life
What’s the best thing that’s happened in your lives since getting married?
We are so much happier together than we were apart. I got my Ph.D. and started my own business, Teen Forward. I'm not-so-secretly hoping that Dagan will join me in the business at some point and we can be partners in life and in business.
What is the most surprising difference between being married vs dating and/or living together?
The most surprising thing for me is that he doesn't drive me completely crazy. We lived apart for our entire relationship, and I'd lived alone since I was 20. I moved back to Minnesota and moved in with him two months before we got married.
Stay up-to-date with Myka! @teenforward
Don't forget to follow, rate, and review The Wedding Dish on your preferred podcast platform and follow us on Instagram @theweddingdishpodcast.
This episode is brought to you by:
Photos from the Harty, Internationally acclaimed wedding photography
District Bliss, the support you need to skyrocket your business with ease
Sprout Creative, marketing for entrepreneurs
Mabely Q, accessibility education
Canva, unique and easy design
17hats. Business just got easier. At The Wedding Dish, we use 17hats for scheduling guests, questionnaires, to develop our show notes, and for our all of guest management. It’s the CRM that makes it easy to run two businesses and two podcasts seamlessly.
Teachable, Create online courses and coaching services with Teachable. Transform your experience and know-how into a thriving knowledge business
Laughing with Gingers is a comedy podcast where two redheads with loud laughs share stories, play games, and spread silliness and joy. Hosted by Kristina Kury and Sara Alepin
Chill Paws, human-grade CBD for your furry pals (use CLOU15 for a discount)
BarkBox, A monthly themed box of toys, treats, and unleashed joy, thoughtfully designed to satisfy every dog’s unique playstyle