S4E13: Engage with Your Engagement | Wedding Coach, Makeup Artist, Married Human
Planning a wedding can bring up a lot of emotions — for everyone.
Getting the support you need in order to engage with your engagement, manage expectations (yours and others), and move forward with excitement!
Planning your wedding - and your marriage! - should feel fun, not frustrating. Sara is joined by Jacquelyn Burt, the woman behind First Looks.
Jacquelyn is a coach, educator, and award-winning wedding makeup artist.
She combines her experience as a wedding industry pro with training in education and counseling to offer both on-site makeup services and personalized emotional support coaching. Her work is to bring ease, clarity, and joy into your wedding planning and celebration!
First Looks
How long have you been in business?
6 years
What areas do you serve?
Based in Twin Cities, MN - work with wedding clients all over the U.S. and Canada for both makeup and coaching services.
Why did you decide to start your own business?
I have a lot of energy and absolutely love connecting with and serving others, and also have a deep passion for two things: how communication facilitates transformation, and how beauty is an embedded part of the human experience.
I got started as a makeup artist kind of accidentally, but immediately fell in love with the wedding industry and the
inherent intimacy and connective power of makeup artistry. I loved being able to work with celebrants who were transforming from individual to spouse, experiencing all kinds of personal and relational change and celebrating the whole process.
Because my background and training are in education and coaching, I found that as a makeup artist, I was naturally engaging with my clients in that space: providing a safe space for them to vent, offering tools and strategies for relationship and communication hiccups, and guiding them through the emotional aspects of the day. In the first iteration of my business, makeup clients were able to hire me to stay with them beyond the morning beautification and through the wedding day - and while we initially referred to them as "touch up hours", the actual work I often did include mediating conflict, helping soothe anxiety spikes right before the ceremony, entertaining little ones during photos, and being a kind of tension sponge/celebrant safe space.
When I finished my graduate degree in January 2019, I renamed, rebranded, and relaunched my business to incorporate the work I was doing in emotional care and support as professional wedding coaching. I see an absolutely enormous need for what is ultimately very specialized service: combining experience as a wedding industry professional with training in coaching and counseling to offer personal emotional support during the wedding planning process.
Celebrants are overwhelmed, navigating pandemics, managing complex family dynamics, disillusioned by "the industry", and are unsure how their own expectations, values, and selves fit into the whole thing. The work I do with them helps them bring ease, joy, and clarity back into their engagements and weddings - and allows them to take and retake first looks at everything that actually matters to them through the lens of their weddings.
What's the coolest thing about owning your own business?
Feeling fully useful. :) Because it's mine, I get to tap into all of my strengths and curiosities and create offerings that fill unique needs! I also get to dictate how and where my business operates - so for example, First Looks LLC has a very visible and transparent Equity & Inclusions Commitment that includes monthly reparations reports. Each month, I track and publish how much money has gone directly to local organizations and on-the-ground activists who are engaging in social justice work; I have a minimum 50% kit balance of BIPOC- and/or queer-owned brands and products; and I get to use my business and platform to facilitate justice and direct action within my communities.
What is your unique perspective in the wedding space?
Wedding coaching is an extremely unique and relatively new service offering, and one that most engaged couples/individuals don't think about needing until they're already in the shit - or until after their weddings are already over. I posit my coaching services as PROactive instead of REactive: a way for clients to explore their values and expectations and get curious about their relationships and communication style so that as they navigate this extremely emotional and transformative experience, they feel more equipped to handle any stress, hiccups, or bumps that may (likely) occur. :)
What insight would you like to offer engaged couples who are planning a wedding?
Reflective practice and reflective communication are two specific skills and strategies I often highlight with my coaching clients. They are things that any client can implement.
Your Business
Do you have a favorite story to share?
I had a client recently whose best friend of many years had decided that they couldn't travel to attend their wedding, and they cited COVID concerns as their reason for not attending. My client (the celebrant) was hurt, frustrated, and confused, and was having a hard time figuring out how (and whether!) they wanted to engage in any kind of conversation with this friend.
During coaching sessions, my client was able to use me as a sounding board for safely exploring their frustration and hurt, and also to get curious about some of the "bigger picture" insecurities or fears that were potentially functioning within the on-the-surface conflict. Over three different sessions, we were able to use my client's own reflection around their personal values and communication style as well as "venting" some of that initial anger, and we made a plan for approaching a conversation with their friend. My client shared that they were able to enter into that interaction feeling much more thoughtful, compassionate, and prepared, and consequently were able to feel more rooted in their own actual needs and desires rather than what they thought they "should" want.
What challenges have you had to overcome?
Because wedding coaching is so new and unique, there are lots of misconceptions and obstacles to folks "getting it". I also have a day job, a spouse, a very active dog, and live with both anxiety and ADHD as well as being in recovery from disordered eating. In short - my privileges are many, but I navigate intersecting challenges and identities like everyone else. Learning how to make conscious choices around my time and energy is an ongoing journey!
Your Real Life
What is daily life like in your household?
Meet with undergraduate students, play with my dog, go for a run, engage in social media, respond to emails, meet with clients, eat lots of popcorn, watch New Girl or Queer Eye, go to bed!
Stay up-to-date with First Looks! @firstlooksllc
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This episode is brought to you by:
Photos from the Harty, Internationally acclaimed wedding photography
District Bliss, the support you need to skyrocket your business with ease
Lemon Tree Editorial, copywriting for wedding professionals
Sprout Creative, marketing for entrepreneurs
Laughing with Gingers, a podcast where two feisty redheads spread silliness and joy
Mabely Q, accessibility education