S6E3: Know Yourself and Stay True to You When Planning Your Wedding
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses plays a bigger part in wedding planning than most of us realize.
Me? I'm not great at planning in general. And, Victoria isn't either.
Pushing ourselves to do something we're not the best at can often lead to unnecessary stress, disappointment, and frustration.
So, play to your strengths and hire a professional or ask for help for the other stuff.
Guest: Victoria Cooper, The Little Decisions Podcast
Background
How did you two meet?
Scandalous story! We met while I was dating his best friend. My husband has a huge family and I had gone over to dinner with my then-boyfriend. I felt so comfortable and welcome, I think I fell in love with Micah and his family that night. Fast forward to 6 months later, Micah was home for the summer (we are from the same hometown) and we spent that summer connecting and falling in love! My then-boyfriend was on a trip to Alaska when we went on our first date. We were trying our best to do the right thing but it's hard when you are young and foolish!
What was the first thing you noticed about your partner?
His quiet consideration of others! He is always taking care of little things for others without saying a word! That summer we started dating I was working overnight and he actually packed my lunch for me most of that summer! It was once of the simplest acts of kindness but it showed such consideration!
Tell us about the proposal!
It was Valentine’s Day and he had driven two hours back to his mom’s house the night before (apparently because he was so nervous). He sent me flowers and chocolates to my work (we had never celebrated Valentine’s day before then) and then we went to a wonderful dinner! He had our picture taken using this downtown camera and then he invited me to walk by this water fountain on UGA's campus before we got back in the car! It was cold but I was having a great time so I said of course. It was then I realized what was coming next! I don't think I even let him finish asking me before I screamed yes! It was wonderful!
Wedding Details
Date: March 08, 2008
Wedding Location: State Botanical Gardens Day Chapel in Athens, Ga
Approx. number of guests who attended your wedding: 125
What were your top 5 favorite moments from your wedding?
1. Telling a joke from the alter
2. Receiving champagne and a beautifully written card from my soon-to-be husband hours before the wedding.
3. My first stepfather dancing with me to "Brown eyed girl" (it was a surprise to him, he LOVED dancing and was in the middle of fighting for his life from cancer)
4. Drinking with my side of the family well into the early morning of my wedding after the rehearsal dinner!
5. All the dancing on the floor!
What, if anything, would you change about the wedding planning process?
I would have asked my super organized sister-in-law Bridgette to take over all the details sooner! There were so many stresses and little issues that could have been avoided if I had been more organized and prepared.
Did you participate in any family, cultural, or religious traditions in your wedding?
We didn't see each other from the end of the rehearsal dinner until I walked down the aisle. That was exciting!
I have two stepdads, so I created my own family tradition by asking one to walk me down the aisle and the other to do the first dance with me.
What was the planning process like? Did you run into any obstacles? How did you overcome them?
My second stepfather graciously agreed to pay up to $10, 000 for us to get married. I did not expect this and was incredibly moved by this gift. This was in 2008 and since my husband’s family is incredibly large, that wasn't a lot of money to work with. We had to compromise on certain things and I almost didn't have flowers at my wedding because I was trying to go with a cheap florist! I just kept being patient and asking for help when I finally ran out of ideas.
What was the most important decision you made about your wedding?
To give family members enough time and notice that anyone who wanted to come could! My stepdad was dying of cancer and we found that out only a f ew months after I got engaged. I told him that was no excuse to not be at my wedding and he fought like hell to not let it be. He shared that at the rehearsal dinner and the entire room was bawling!
What is your favorite thing about your significant other?
His kindness! Truly! He is so considerate of others and is always trying to help them out without having to be asked. It can sometimes mean he has unrealistic expectations on me to help him with larger scale projects (like cleaning his mothers kitchen!) but I still love him for it!
Married Life
What’s the best thing that’s happened in your lives since getting married?
Building a home together. Fate worked in our favor to allow us to buy our dream home a year after we married. We have made that house a home! Our two daughters live there with us now and it's such a bright, loud place!
What is the most surprising difference between being married vs dating and/or living together?
The constantness of being on a team. You are always on a team. Which is good, but it was surprising how inflexible this is.
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